I was still raising 2 girls, teenagers now ... It got to the point where I could not afford to give them what they needed
I started back to school in 1982, got my AA and then went, with my 2 young children, to UCSB to get a bachelor's degree in Developmental Psychology. I took out Perkins loans until I got my BA, then stayed at UCSB (family housing was relatively inexpensive) for my MA in Education, with an emphasis in Early Childhood Education. I was a single mother, working weekends cleaning houses and offices and sending my kids to their father and his family in Lancaster, CA, so I could work full time during the summer, thinking that would help me reduce the need for loans. At first, I was going for my MFT so I could provide individual, group and family therapy once I got my license. This required another MA – in Clinical Psychology. I used loans to supplement my grants on my way to the BA; I did the same for my MAs. By this time I was working full time, going to school full time and doing an internship. The loans I took out added up, of course; at the time they were not adding fees or anything. I started paying my loans after I got my second MA (in 1992) from Antioch University. Different people bought my loans (I never knew why, I just figured banks buy mortgages, so why not student loans? When the payments got too high, I asked for some forbearance and they would not give me any; they wanted me to pay close to 1500/month. At the time my rent was 1200/month (including utilities and such. I just couldn't make it; I needed a new car so I could commute between Lompoc and Santa Barbara where my job was. The representative for the people that held my loan suggested I get a smaller place, apparently not knowing that California's rents are expensive and I moved to one of the cheaper places within an hour of my work. The representative told me to consolidate my loans into a Ford Foundation loan, which I did, after being told that my payment would be affordable, because of my income and living situation. I was still raising 2 girls, teenagers now. It got to the point where I could not afford to give them what they needed because of the hours I worked and the amount of money I was paying out in gas, etc. every month. To my discredit, I stopped making payments after I asked Ford to lower my payments and they would not; they too, expected over 1500/month. I just could not do it with my pay rate. They told me to borrow money, get a 1 bedroom house (with 2 kids?); drive a cheaper car (I had a 1983 Honda that was paid off! It got good mileage, and. I was afraid they would say to give my girls away. I have been working in Lompoc as a social services worker since 1997; we live in an impoverished part of Santa Barbara County and I serve, as a child welfare worker, our most needy families. Just this year, they cut our pay and benefits so other staff would not get laid off. We've given up meat, primarily for health reasons , but also because I costs too much. Now I am facing retirement in 4 years; I have nothing to my name except a car and books and furniture. I'm living with a roommate and paying about 1500/month with utilities and food. The last time I asked to have my payments lowered, or the money I've paid in interest count as paying off the principal and they said no. I am currently paying back (via wage garnishment – the only way I could pay them something twice a month without getting nasty grams. The representative from William D. Ford, stated that I was paying 35 dollars a day in interest (that was 4 years ago; I shudder to think what I am paying now and I will never get the principal paid off at this rate. I am terrified I will not be able to live after I retire. I buy thrift sale and garage sale clothes, shoes and furniture. I save the real money for gifts for my 6 grandchildren for Christmas and birthdays. By the way, I am, by no means, suicidal. I have a great job, with periodic pay cuts, cause government workers get paid too much. However, I could understand, in my darkest moments, why someone would. There are plenty of people worse off than me, but when I'm lying in the dark, thinking about my future, I get scared that I won't be able to afford food or housing in the next few years. Does it count that I am serving the poorest of the county every day? Does it count that I am on 24 hour call because folks trust us with the safety and well being of our children? I'm sorry if this story is a mess. I'm actually a writer, too, and I just feel so strongly about this, yet I'm not sure what to say. I've written my congressperson and senate person and they are so overwhelmed with letters like mine, I don't blame them for not getting back to me. Thank you for listening.
—Christine, California