A Friendly Letter From the Wisconsin Consitution to Jeff Fitzgerald

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Dear Minority Leader Fitzgerald (the Assembly one),

Happy 2009!

We, the articles and sections which make up the Wisconsin Constitution, noticed that on top of financing the cost of you and your family’s health care, that you are spending some of the people’s tax dollars having your ample staff waste time and resources creating something called the Joint Committee on Economic Stimulus Accountability.

An important member of our team, Article IV, also known as ‘€œLegislative,’€ wanted to remind you that since your party is not in charge of the state Assembly, you currently do not enjoy the authority to create committees.
 

We know it’€™s tough sometimes in the minority. But our rules are the rules. And you need to follow them.

We’€™re a little surprised that you’€™re trying to take authority you don’€™t have. Just a few weeks ago you when asked about bipartisan solutions to the state’€™s $5.4 billion deficit you said, ‘€œI don’€™t have to solve that problem. Obviously, that’€™s the Democrats’€™ problem.’€

Looks like someone is having trouble making up his mind.

Something you need to remember. The many parts here at your state Constitution are a lot like a community. We have some great neighbors ‘€“ we’€™re particularly proud of Article I and we love our good friend, Article III, Section 1, which guarantees the right to vote. Although, we know you have a problem with that one, what with the whole voter ID nonsense.

We understand that for the previous 14 years, your party has been in charge of the Assembly, reducing the tax burden on the wealthy and corporations at the expense of the working families and investing dollars in an orgy of prison construction that could have built schools and infrastructure.

As your state Constitution we understand, Jeff, old habits are hard to break. But the party’€™s over (no pun intended).

Here’€™s a nickel’€™s worth of free advice from your state Constitution ‘€“ be a part of the solution. Rise above petty partisanship and do some good. We’€™re a pretty tight community here at the state Constitution and we want to see you and your pals in state government succeed.

Before we go, though, there is one thing we want to get off our chest. We were fine without that ban on same sex marriage ‘€“ that’€™s a neighbor we didn’€™t need in our community. He’€™s a homophobic jackass.

Sincerely,

Your Wisconsin Constitution

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Scot Ross served as Executive Director of One Wisconsin Now & the Institute from 2007 to 2019.