Meet the Corporation

Meet the Corporation

I had always heard of these faceless corporations so I thought it wouldn’€™t be very much fun to meet one. But now that the Supreme Court has officially made them persons (sorta like they did with George Bush) I thought maybe I’€™d do what I’€™d wanted to for a long time ‘€“ punch one in the face. So off I went to my local hated corporation.

Excuse me Miss, is the Corporation in?

Pardon me??

Is the Corporation in?

Well the people who work here ‘€“ some of them are here and others are, of course, out of the building.

Yes, but I wanted to meet the Corporation, sort of ‘€œface to face’€.

Well, you can’€™t do that!

I suppose it’€™s really busy, huh?

Oh yes, this Corporation is very busy but it isn’€™t exactly here!

Well, what time does it usually get in, would you say?

I can’€™t really answer that question, Sir.

Oh, I get it ‘€“ the Corporation is a big shot so it kind of keeps its own hours, does it?

Well Sir, that’€™s not exactly’€¦..

He’€™s in the men’€™s room, right?

Sir, it doesn’€™t really’€¦.

Not the men’€™s room, huh. I know, he’€™s a little hung over and hasn’€™t shown up for work yet so’€¦.

Sir ‘€“ the Corporation doesn’€™t drink’€¦

Cool ‘€“ oh, look at the time ‘€“ Is he out to lunch?

Sir, the employees take lunch at all different times but the Corporation doesn’€™t really take lunch’€¦

So he works really hard ‘€“ say he wouldn’€™t be on vacation would he?

Sir, I’€™m sorry to tell you that the Corporation doesn’€™t take vacations as such, you see’€¦

Wow ‘€“ doesn’€™t even take vacations ‘€“ perhaps I’€™ve been too hard on this person. Say can I ask ‘€“ is this corporation married?

Well no’€¦

Have children?

Unhhh, sir’€¦.

Been divorced?

Sir, I’€™ve got to get back to ‘€¦.

The Corporation isn’€™t sick, is it, and you’€™re trying to keep it quiet, like cancer or something?

I’€™m sorry sir but I really’€¦.

Well, OK, just gimme a little inside info – I’€™ve heard that this person’€™s voice has been unleashed by the Supreme Court so do you like have recordings of this person’€™s voice?

Sir, really, I’€™m going to have to call Security if you’€¦.

OK, ok ‘€“ (lowered voice) Say, you and the Corporation haven’€™t been’€¦.

Sir, that’€™s enough, the Corporation isn’€™t really like that’€¦.

Yeah, well that’€™s what the hiking governor said’€¦.Hey, oooh, uummph, take your hands off me! I just want to see this person called the Corporation ‘€¦.

Listen Mac- you want to see the Corporation? Turn on your radio, read a paper, watch TV, talk to your Rush listening neighbors, call your Congressman, try to get a liberal elected, or health care for people, or lower the war budget, or rein in the banks, then just pay a little attention- the Corporation’€™s voice will be everywhere- it’€™s a very special person. Now get the hell out of here’€¦.!

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